I’m not sure why I’m not good at holding onto a job. Never wanted one badly enough I guess. Always found something better to do.
“But you gotta pay to play, sister,” my sailing mate said to me the other day. It was the first time I’d seen him since the summer passed. The first time on land. When I ran into another sailing friend a few weeks prior, it felt surreal. When I knew those dudes was another life. One far from how I’m living now.
But it’s good. Mild stability is good. Although I’m careful not to become too comfortable, or reliant, on having this warm little room on these vast 14 acres.
I have my hand in too many different things. I’m writing regularly for a hard hitting news publication. I’m trying to prep for the upcoming growing season. I’m trying to manage my stress, my relationships, my time. I’m carving a piece of wood. I don’t even know why, just decided I was going to start and finish it, damn it. I booked a trip to Central America on a day I felt far too overwhelmed with my responsibilities. Thought maybe going to stare into the ocean and eat coconuts might help me get my priorities straight.
My boat calls to me. She’s finally thawing out and I’m finally getting around to visiting her. I’ve got a small cabinet project to complete, an install of some deck hardware, some washing, waxing, painting and she’s splashed. She’ll be on a mooring ball two miles from the farm where I’m living and working to grow my own food.
Some people are far more ambitious than I am. In my mind I’ve put in my time. I wrote enough articles to pay for my mooring ball, my projects, and to have a little left over. All the while I got to rub shoulders with Bernie Sanders!
But despite the mild success I’m finding here on land as a journalist, it’s my paid work–not my life’s work. I consider my fiscal year complete, or at least put on hold, until my winter storage fees are looming.
Like my favorite uncle said, “what’s the point of being a free spirit in a world of deadlines?”
Now I just have to figure out a way to tell that to my boss